Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Teach your Mind to Listen………….

Teach you mind to listen…………….. I remember having this epiphany years ago about the importance of listening to my body. REcognizing that discomfort had a meaning and if I stopped to look closely at it I could extract the message of transformation from the experience. I was most proud of the great clarity and felt myself perhaps wiser than others who did not recognize the importance of looking at what was happening in their bodies. I took pride in understanding this from avery physical perspective, not realizing that I was leaving out some vital information. So, I spent years analyzing the reactions of food, medication and other such stimulus upon my body. I was very good at depriving myself of the things I perceived were toxic to my physicality. I got sicker, still proud of myself, not fully understanding the reasons for my demise. Life in all of its beauty and intensity handed my a package that left my spirit in turmoil and suddenly then I began to see there was a significant part of the equation that I had been missing. As I began to try and unravel the message from my spirit, I began to recognize there was a synergetic link between my spirits responses and my body's responses. Many of the things that I had determined to hold and withhold from myself physically were not the cause of the pain, nor of the relief. My pride was gone, left in its wake was the clear understanding that I had no idea of how to listen to anyone, least of all myself. I had built walls of faulty beliefs and all listening and hearing was filtered through lies in my own mind. But, I had no idea what was real, except what I had convinced myself was. How was I to know the real from the pretenses? The listening started with both the beliefs, and with my emotions. First I had to grieve, but I also had to learn. I had no idea what I was grieving for, the obvious had opened the flood gates to experiences and a lostness that I would never had acknowledged without the initiating factors. I cried so many tears I thought there was nothing left, this opened the way for, fear, for regret and then for anger. The learning was an interesting process, for what I needed to learn came as water in a drought. I could not get enough, when in my grief and sadness I could do nothing else, I saturated myself with the filling waters of the knowledge I had been seeking. Concurrently, as the level of consciousness in my mind was being raised, the grief began to ebb from my soul, giving way to other emotions that I had kept locked tightly under the lid of control and beliefs. The patterns of self deception began to give way to a desire, to know, know of life, know of myself, know of the goodness I had been aching for- but most of all for honesty. How deeply I wanted to question when there was one, to stop when I felt I couldn't move any further and ask for what i needed when I had a need. All of these I had deprived myself of, in the construct of my beliefs about who I was and what I could ask for or even want. At the core of the questions being asked and the answers being received was and is the question of what is mine? What can I hold? When do I need help with and what does that help look like? The essence of what each soul is must be understood to be able to teach any mind to listen. The essence of each soul being filled with a unique confluence of desire and contribution to the world. A special place, where you bring the questions and seek the answers that have never been asked in quite the same way under quite the same circumstances, creating a completely unique combination of need and contribution to the world. Finding who you need, it is a question of the heart and the experience. Perhaps the need is to urge you to love and believe in yourself like you never have, perhaps the impetus is a damaging relationship, perhaps a loss or heartache. Finding what you need , well is kind of the same. We learn to hear because things hurt, not because what we hope for lines up. It cannot line up if we have faulty beliefs in the way of our reception of our desires, or if perhaps what we think we want is actually formed from the constructs of a culture that is defining us, into a slow death. Then what we need takes us closer to death, so that we might seek more deeply for life. The answers to the teaching, and the listening come from a place, that defies logic.It holds us so completely without any outward manifestation of truth, that regardless of the response of others, that this deep knowing is felt through every part of our being. We become one and alive in our knowing. Lest this sounds too simple, there is still the noise of the fear, the sadness, regret and anger all happening at the same time, which we must see, and hear and gracefully honor and understand. Without reaching into those places, our mind cannot hear the desire. Without proper processing of the rage, the pleasure and desire are unfelt and confusion holds us and spins us around and around, through and in and out of the emotions again and again until we hold ourselves gracefully respecting our own pain and rage. So, teaching our minds to listen opens ourself up to every possibility, until we are willing to assume we may be out of tune with truth, we can never recognize the resonance of truth that the body and spirit without bias are speaking…………………..

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