What about mental health???

If a person received a substantial physical injury, it would be understood that the process of healing would require time, loving support and patience.  There would be moments of frustration as the perceived time line does not meet the expectations of growth.  There would be no shame in asking for help or in using crutches to allow for protection from further injury.  It would be understood that dedicated time for appointments, for professionals, for tools to support healing and decrease pain, all would be needed.  We would not be afraid to ask for help when needed.

But what of emotional/spiritual wounds……….?

I am working on a project for one of my classes in school and for my own personal interest, on emotional health.  I noticed a few things, terribly high expectations for completion of the process, (“ of getting better”), an inability to ask for and find help(shame), a lack of understanding as to how these problems manifest themselves, and therefore how to and who to ask for help from, and a difficulty in stopping and allowing themselves to take the needed time and space for their needs, to heal rather than just band-aid the problem.

In my studies it has become remarkably clear that the implications of emotional or mental pain and injury has direct correlations to the physical.  When we look at the emotions we can see the body and when we look at the body we can see the emotions, so though we may try, we are never really hiding from our pain, just hiding behind something.  In order to start the process of healing, you must hear and see all of you.  You must acknowledge and see how you are holding each piece inside you. 

The process of healing, holds all of you.  Uncovering the language is a process and takes time.  Be as gentle and understanding with yourself as though it were your leg that is broken rather than your heart or mind.  They will heal, today is the first step, today is the only day that you must be present with on this journey.

Josh Groban - Falling Slowly [Live]

HOPE

I love reading some people's blogs because they can just say what they want to say and then get on

with it. I have trouble doing that. I always feel like I have to see everything there is to see about it and

 explain everything that I know so that it will make perfect sense. I know there is a place for that,

maybe if you are a researcher, but I am not. Sometimes I am just scared to just say what I think and feel

without having any real reason, just because my heart felt something.

Today I was feeling physically tired and kind of weak, but I have been running and couldn't stop. Not

because there wasn't a space to, but because I couldn't let myself, for fear of failing, not doing enough,

not being enough. I have worn myself out for the last few months, partly out of delight and desire to be

doing what I am doing, but partly just because I am afraid. The fear and the sadness run with me every

day. So to escape I escape into study, creating, sometimes loving and being with people. It isn't all

unhealthy, but today was.

I was not feeling well at all and when I finally stopped and asked the question why I realized I had not

eaten anything solid for twenty four hours. I can list a ton of reason why, midterms, smoothies are my

fall back, but it really comes down to be afraid to be totally connected to my own feelings. It is

terrifying to admit that I am afraid of speaking my own truth. I am afraid to say I am sad, there has been

so much loss that I haven't even begun to figure out to process. And I am afraid that if I hear and speak

I become vulnerable; I ache to NOT hold it all by myself, but the walls have been built and are tall and

strong and breaking them down is no small feat. Each step is tiny, going to school, speaking up for

what I see and putting myself out to contribute in the ways that I love and connecting with people

whose resonance I just love to take in, but it is all terrifying in its own right. Some

days I can hold it up to the light and say I am afraid, but I know why and I am ok. Here and now I am

ok, so I will take this step.

Today I realized I had moved past being able to hold it up and look and moved directly into disconnect.

The fear too much, the sadness too deep and so I stand here now, needing to stop and hold it up. 

Somethings I cannot fix and the pain will always be so deeply in my heart, others weave in and out

bringing hope insight and joy as they weave in and out of the sadness. I am not my fear today, it is with

me. My sadness is a gift, when it rises to be heard and I can't eat and move I know I have to stop and

listen. I have to be gentle, like I am with all the beautiful people that I cherish and I have to remember I

am one of them.

The feelings so hard to feel, are the gift. I fight the battle every day of what it feels like to belong in my

own skin with my own heart. It has begun to be a beautiful journey and I am really beginning to like

myself and find such delight and meaning in the process of becoming. Some days I hit my threshold

and it impacts how I treat myself and how I love myself. But today I remember, and I know this…..I

am not the sum total of the mark I got on my midterm, the approval of others because of where I may or

may not sit on Sunday, what I eat, what I drink, what I

wear, but only how I love. How love lives in me.

So, today, letting go, stopping, listening, perhaps to the tears, the inability to put food in my mouth, or

some other symptoms that is calling for my heart to listen. Today I am listening. And tomorrow will 

will have hope for a different story because today I listened.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTQZ_5Ar_Vo&list=RDGMEMQ1dJ7wXfLlqCjwV0xfSNbAVMmkxZsKDeIss&index=5